Putting Women In Their Place (It Might Not Be Where You Think It Is)

There has been a recent deluge of new people showing up at Orthodox Churches seeking the truth. This wonderful blessing comes with certain difficulties. One of those difficulties arises from people seeking a place that aligns with seemingly “traditionalist” views that they have absorbed from outside the Orthodox Church. In particular, I want to address men who are looking for a church that lets them be manly, and keeps women in their place. 

As we approach the Feast of the Dormition of the Mother of God, the falling asleep of the Virgin Mary, I want to tell you about the place of women in the Church and about what makes a man “manly.”

On the sixth day of Creation, God created man. Scripture says “in the image of God He made him; male and female he made them. Then God blessed them; and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it , and have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of heaven, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.’” 

God created humanity as male and female. The dominion or lordship that they have over creation is one of service just as Christ our God came not to be served but to serve. We serve the world by caring for it, and serving one another. Woman is not created as a slave to man, but in order to help him complete the task of filling the earth and ordering all things in it. She was created of the same substance as Adam, from his own flesh and bone so that together they might live out God’s command. She is therefore equal to Adam in dignity and honor. The Scriptures say, “it is not good for man to be alone;” it is equally true to say that it is not good for woman to be alone. They are both needed for the mission given to humanity by our Creator.

Of course there are distinctions between male and female, but there is no difference in their human nature. Both are in the image of God and according to His likeness. While there is hierarchy, it is without tyranny. Because we live in a world of tyrants, we struggle to understand this concept. But this is a shadow of the hierarchy of the Holy Trinity, a shadow that we also see in the hierarchy of the Church. It is what Christ spoke of when He said, “whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant.”

This was how humanity was created in the beginning, but what effect did the fall have on the relationship between men and women? After Adam and Eve sinned in the garden, God said to Eve, “Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.” This, however, is not a prescription for how things must be, nor a punishment to correct Eve, it is a description of how things will go in this newly fallen order. Men and women will still need each other, but now there will be a power struggle. This is not the ideal, it is the broken reality inwhich we need to repent. 

In the first epistle of Saint Paul to Timothy, he says, “I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence. Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.” While it is true that Eve did sin first, it is also true that Adam stood by as Eve was being tempted and did nothing to prevent it, and even joined her in her sin. Saint Paul is here admonishing the women of the Cretan Church, many of whom had been in leadership in the cult of Artemis. He is saying that they need to be in the Church learning the truth rather than leading men into sin with ideas that should have been left behind upon entering the Church. It is not a universal maxim that women need to shut up, but a particular pastoral direction which, if anything, is an acknowledgment of men’s weakness with regard to women and the importance of not bringing our old incorrect ideas into the Church. 

The idea that women are inferior to men comes not from God, but from the pagan world. Pagans did not consider women to be equal to men, they considered them inhuman or even defective. They could be used freely for the satisfaction of men’s desires and then discarded; they could be ignored and mistreated. The pagan world saw no intrinsic value in women or children, and honestly didn’t think much of most men unless they had wealth, status, or power. When we fail to see the image of God in just one person, it becomes harder to see it in anyone.

In contrast to this view, we have the Law of Moses. The Torah required God’s people to treat women as made in the image and after the likeness of God. If a man took advantage of a woman, he was responsible for her for the rest of his life. If a man married a woman, he couldn’t just leave because he became bored of her. While men often had numerous wives in the Old Testament, the Scriptures show time and again by showing the consequences of this kind of life that this is a harmful practice for everyone involved. 

The New Testament went even further. In the Old Testament a woman was part of the covenant because she was the daughter or wife of a circumcised man; a woman is part of the new covenant because she is baptized into Christ, she has put on Christ, and she as much as her husband or father, or brother, or any other Christian man, is an heir of the promises received through Christ. 

The Christian faith made it possible for women to decide whether to marry, to choose a life of motherhood, or a life of virginity devoted to prayer and asceticism. She was able to choose how to live her life. When a woman choosing virginity had a father who insisted on marrying her to someone, or when suitors would not take no for an answer, the Church took the side of the woman which was the side of Christ her bridegroom, and the side of the Mother of God who was her exemplar. 

There are frequent examples in the Scriptures and the Church of individual women who are indeed superior in some way to the men around them. 

In the book of Judges, the Prophetess Deborah told Barak that the Lord would deliver their enemy, Sisera, into the hands of his army. The Lord assured his victory, all he had to do was cooperate, but he wouldn’t go unless Deborah went with him. Because of his faithlessness, when Sisera was delivered into his hands, he managed to escape. Sisera ended up in the tent of Jael, another woman, who went into his tent when he was asleep and drove a tent peg through his head. It was not the weak, spineless man or his soldiers who gave them victory, it was these two women.

We have the example of Rahab the Canaanite harlot who heard of the mighty deeds of God in delivering the people of Israel and chose to hide the Jewish spies, giving aid to God’s people and in the process saving the lives of her family. 

This past week, we celebrated Saint Solomonia who encouraged her seven sons, the Maccabean Martyrs as they were being tortured for remaining steadfast in their faith. 

That women were not considered weak can be seen from a humorous story in the book of 1 Ezra. Zerubbabel said that women are stronger than wine which makes men act contrary to their own benefit, they are stronger even than the king whose commands must be obeyed under threat of death. Zerubbabel argues that the king and all of his subjects are born of women, raised by women, and clothed by women. Men will forsake father, mother, and country for a woman. Men will work to give everything they have to a woman; they will fight man and beast to protect a woman. He even pointed out a time when he saw a woman remove King Darius’ crown and smack him on the face with her left hand, the dishonorable hand and yet when she smiled at him he laughed. Women have power over men because men need them from before they are born into this world, not just because men desire them. 

We read in the New Testament about the Myrrhbearing women who selflessly ministered to the needs of the Lord and His Disciples, of the Equal of the Apostles Thekla and Mary Magdalene,  of Saint Tabitha who cared for the widows, or Saint Lydia, Saint Phoebe, Saint Priscilla, or Saint Junia. 

In the life of the Church we continue to have great examples of women who were highly respected by great male saints, women like Saint Olympia the Deaconess praised by Saint John Chrysostom, Saint Emmelia who had Saints for children, Saint Macrina the sister of Saint Basil the Great who set him straight when he was too full of himself, or Saint Mary of Egypt who taught Saint Zosimas more about the monastic life than his previous abbots had. 

The Scriptures and the Church do not present women as less strong or capable than men. It is true that Saint Peter in his first general epistle refers to wives as being the weaker vessel, but listen to the rest of the quote:  “dwell with them [your wives] with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” He is not saying that women are weak, he’s saying that they are precious. A toilet is strong in construction but made of the same basic material as the fine china on your table that you have to handle carefully. The one is precious, the other unclean. A holy wife is precious, and with a holy husband they are heirs together of the grace of God. 

When Saint Paul says that women must be silent in Church in 1st Timothy, we should note first of all that he thinks women should be in Church. Under the Old Covenant, women were not involved in the worship that took place in the Tabernacle, the temple, or the synagogue. Saint Paul tells Christian women to adorn themselves with the profession of godliness and good works because they are capable of these things. He encourages them to be silent in Church so that they might learn. The word used for silence is the root of the word “hesychia,” the kind of silence that leads to the direct experience of God. He is saying that women have this capacity and need to be allowed to exercise it in Church. They belong here every bit as much as men. This is particularly important for us to hear today. Women belong in the Church, not just in the sense that they should be Christians, but that they should be present in the services in prayer and contemplation. If they are constantly shuffled off to the cry rooms on account of noisy children, they will be deprived of the opportunity to learn the faith that is being freely offered to us all. Fathers, your wife’s children are your children too. Look out for her spiritual growth and not just your own. 

Much is made also of Saint Paul’s words to the Ephesians “wives submit yourselves to your own husbands.” But what Saint Paul is actually teaching is that husbands should submit to their wives first. He begins by saying that all Christians should submit to one another in the fear of God. In addition, husbands must love their wives as Christ loves the Church "and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.” If we take Christ as our example, we see that He emptied Himself taking the form of a servant not for His own sake, but for His bride, the Church. 

A truly strong man is one who becomes Christ-like. If he submits first as Christ submits first, he strengthens his love for his wife and children, he finds joy in the family God provides him with, He has peace in the face of difficulties, longsuffering through all adversities, kindness toward the people he encounters, goodness and not evil in his conduct, faithfulness in serving God and his family, gentleness instead of wrath, and self-control over all aspects of his life. In other words, He obtains the gifts of the Holy Spirit through his marriage and family. A strong wife is not a hindrance to this, but a helper.

If we look at the good wife described in Proverbs 31, she is industrious, she takes charge, she is strong, charitable, well-respected, wise and speaks wisdom. It is said of her that “her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all.” The most holy Theotokos is the embodiment of this kind of woman, and as such all generations, all we who are her children call her blessed. In that the Church is the body of Christ, she is the mother of us all. She is blessed among women, but not separate from them. As such, she can serve as the foremost example of what it means to be a godly woman, strong in faith, in love, in prayer, most of all, in humility.

The Theotokos lived in the temple from the age of 3. She was already living in constant prayer and in the kind of silence that allowed her to draw near to God. While living in the temple, she was sustained by God in all things, and ate what was brought to her by an angel. In her closeness to God, she was accustomed to the presence of angels all around her. We can see this in comparing the announcement of the birth of Saint John the Forerunner to the announcement of the birth of Christ. While Saint Zachariah feared the appearance of the Archangel Gabriel, Mary feared only the content of his message. The fear she experienced came from the possibility that this was a demonic temptation meant to flatter her, or to convince her to deny her vow of virginity. She was so humble that when she heard Isaiah 7:14, “Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel,” she knew that it was to come to pass and prayed that she might be given the gift of meeting this virgin, not ever presuming that the prophecy might be referring to her.

The Theotokos brought about the reversal of the curse of Eve. Through her freely-chosen obedience to God, she brought into the world the New Adam.

As a child, Christ submitted to her as His mother and honored her. While hanging on the cross, he commanded his beloved disciple to take her as his own mother; and at her falling-asleep, the Lord Himself came to the Virgin and received her soul into His hands. What a great mystery that she is the Daughter of God, the Unwedded bride of the Lord, and the Virgin Mother of God. God loves her and exalts her for her strength.

As Christians, we are all called to be strong in the Lord, but this strength looks like weakness to the world. To lower ourselves in love for another, or to express our joy and godly sorrows, or to  have mercy on those who deserve no mercy, or to serve another instead of serving ourselves looks weak, but it is actually true strength. 

Despite modern claims, the Church did not subjugate women, it restored them to their proper place after pagan society under demonic influence had denigrated them. A Christian recognizes the great gifts that women provide to the Church and appreciates them for their strength. Strong men are made stronger by having strong women in their lives. A strong man, like Christ, may look weak on his cross even while he is destroying the enemies that war against him. A strong woman is like the Mother of God seeking to live in a God pleasing manner even when faced with the impossible, and she is elevated and blessed by those who love her. 

As we approach the Feast of the Dormition of the Mother of God, let us cease focusing on and engaging in the battle of the sexes. Let us embrace our role as Christians, as men and women, as husbands and wives, as fathers and mothers, as sons and daughters, as brothers and sisters, and begin loving one another as co-heirs of the eternal kingdom and begin living selflessly toward one another.